The Contented Householder seems to feel not the slightest discomfort in the presence of a cross-dimensional tape measure that dictate in a bossy way the exactitudes of placing yourself in the optimum of light. If only one had the same facility for other jobs around the House.

I want to be followed around by these tapes when peeling parsnips and changing the toilet roll. How sweet life would be!


Why can't I have a lighted valance? Why did no-one ever raise the possibility before?